You can't hide from the question
"Do you know what you are going to have?"
Usually I do the sarcastic response of "well I'm pretty sure that it will not be a pony...."
Last week when asked for the upteenth time by a stranger we said we didn't know and weren't going to find out until the baby was born. Most people just kinda shake there head but this person responded "Don't tell me you are one of THOOOOSE people"
um beg pardon?
Apparently not wanting to know makes us hippies....
I was pretty offended because one: Why does it matter? two: When will I ever see you again? three: Pretty sure if you didn't help put the baby in then you have no decision making influences...
I was telling my mum this story and was telling her that it wasn't we were hardcore "We want it to be a suprise!" because really, I am a worrier and a planner and I hate surprises. Our decision not to find out basically goes against my personality and characteristics.
However, at the same time I couldn't figure out why we really were not in a rush of finding out. Without even a second glance my mum said:
"Well why would you want to find out when your whole road of trying to become pregnant was so planned"
That's it! That is EXACTLY it.
We spent 22 months getting pregnant. I charted my cervical mucous every day for 20 months and charted my temperature every morning for 18 months. We timed bedding to Ovulation monthly. I had blood tests and dye tests according to certain days of my cycles. I had to take Clomid on certain days of my cycles. I had to get ultrasounds and daily blood work for two cycles
done as well which included them telling me when to bed. And lastly (thankfully and blessfully) we had the IUI on top of that.
Talk about everything being planned to the day and almost the hour.... While I am thankful that we finally got pregnant with all of this 'planning' it definitely takes a toll on you...
So why not finally have something to look forward to that is a surprise in this whole process.
Something where we infact do not know the answer to and we don't mind :)
Like you, I'm a worrier and hate surprises, but after reading this post you've given me much food for thought! Your mum is a wise woman - for many of us, so much of the road to getting pregnant is planned.
ReplyDeleteI never thought I'd be able to hold out finding out - but now, should I be lucky enough to get pregnant, I might think twice.
Best wishes to you!
I love that answer. Like you, I will probably wait to find out and I think that's a great reason!
ReplyDeleteFunny...mum's always have a way of knowing our motives when even we don't. I never woulda thought of that either, but now that I read it - that's so dead on exactly it, it's like...DUH...how didn't either of us see it?
ReplyDeleteWhat a douche, though, all "one of THOSE people"...wtf does that even mean!? That's so insanely rude...and you know what? LOTS of people choose not to know, especially with their first child, simply because that's how it was MEANT to be (or so it feels to me). Maybe I'm just old fashioned, and one of THOSE people myself...but it just has such an oldschool, like, our grandparents' day feel to it to me to not know...I dunno...I guess I am one of THOSE haha.
We can be THOSE people together.
ReplyDeleteLove you and your mum! <3!
Fertility Chick- My mum has been where we have dealing with infertility for 15 yrs after adopting my three siblings when she was 39 I came out of nowhere :) So she definitely understands a lot more than I sometimes remember. Thanks for reading by the way- I have been reading yours as well just haven't commented yet but I must say I love your sense of humour through everything!
ReplyDeleteHope- I can't wait until you are able to make that decision, I swear when you get your bfp (and trust me it will be soon) I will be doing cartwheels around the house.
Ash and Sloan- Mum's are so intuitive at times it is scary. Way to be one of 'those' haha... If we are lucky enough to have future kids I'd be allright finding out *I think* just because there is more to plan but for the first we need all new baby stuff anyways!