The big decision revealed.....

We are going through with an IUI!

It was a hard decision to make but now that it is official I think we are ready for it. It is going to be a long hard process until after they actually do the IUI but I think we will at least feel like we tried everything!

Process:

Day 3-7
- Clomid... yikes watch out! But in preparation for starting it tomorrow I am now totally caught up on housework and have it on tip top shape! I feel like I should already write a 'forgive me for my actions' letter for M. I read online someone referring to herself as a 'dragon lady' on Clomid- it made me laugh a lot and I thought it was a really good analogy.

Day 15-? (maybe day 19-20)
- Daily blood tests and every other day internal ultrasounds. Here they will keep checking when I get my LH surge to show I am about to O and check my eggies and lining! I am curious to see what happens since last month I had two tiny eggs on my right side and ovulated on the left... so maybe we will be able to try with two eggs this month! Also my veins have recovered from last time and are 'pumped' to get going...

Whatever the day after is after I get my surge + the day after that
- The IUI itself! It doesn't really sound scary or any more invasive than the HSG I did. Basically they get the swimmers and put them in a solution type thingy and put them into the cervix via a small tube. The solution is used because apparently sperm can make women sick if they go directly into the cervix (thus why we have cervical mucous...you know incase you were ever wondering) But yah since I ovulate naturally they do the IUI two days in a row to make sure they didn't miss the opportune time (if someone does not O naturally they give them a shot that does so they only need to do the IUI once since they know exactly the timing they are dealing with)

After the IUI
- I quote from the info pamphlet from my FS afterwards "Have as much sex as you can in the next 24 hours" haha sounds like a challenge! This is because of course the more swimmers added the better. AND MOST IMPORTANTLY especially for me, if you are successful you will never really know if it is because of the IUI or from afterwards. That is a nice thought that you will never really know.

After the loving
- Try not to think how slow the next two weeks are going to go. Try not to think that it would be the best birthday present for Mark if I could tell him good news - or at least symptoms. Try not to think how perfect it is that I would be able to test for Father's Day.. Eek. JUST BREATH AND RELAX KIM

PROS
- Our benefits will cover it this month well most of it anyways- then our benefits are done until at least November (maybe a good sign with timing...?)
- I will be monitored closely again
-This will increase our chances by 14% (basically now we will be having the same odds as any other 'normal' couple)
- We will feel like we are actually doing something
- We might be lucky....

CONS
-What if we are unlucky....
-Yet another huge amount of people looking in my vagina
-Blood taken every day ...ugh my poor arms
-Might have to actually tell Mark's parents what are going on. Its not a big problem I don't mind sharing my story (obviously) but I think I will just feel a bit more pressure. I would be much happier if we could get preggy then explain all we did. But if the topic ever comes up or they ask if I am a heroine addict due to my bruised needled arm I won't mind sharing.
-It will be hard not to keep my hopes up. I know it is pretty rare for positive results for someone's IUI but there is always an exception. I just want to be the exception for a good reason at some point.
-It is a lot of money. Benefits will only cover up to 15000 $ for fertility treatments. So if we don't get the positive this month we will only have around 10 000$ left for future treatments.

In Conclusion
- I am looking forward to this month. I think we made the right decision for this month. If it doesn't work we will just continue with Clomid until November and then think IUI again when our benefits are back up. No matter what this whole two year process has been nothing but making M and I even stronger and closer, and who can be disappointed in that?

Sorry for yet another novel! Just want future Broadbent to know why s/he/they better love us and feel appreciated haha